If you want to create more peace in your relationships, it starts with your relationship with yourself. Harmony is the foundation for a lasting relationship, affection, love, and romance. If your relationship suffers from quarrels, anger, tension, or disharmony of any description, your first step should be to remove those negatives from the relationship. Here are a few Tips for Strengthening Harmony in Your Relationship that will help you tame the monkey mind and create more peace, harmony, and connection with yourself as well.
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Apologize early
If you’ve been snappy or said something hurtful, don’t leave it too long to say sorry. Make sure your apology is sincere and avoid adding ‘but’ at the end of it. It’s tempting to apportion some blame to the other person but a genuine apology is simply about owning up to the part you played without expecting anything in return.
Don’t try to change your partner
Wouldn’t life be simple and easy if all we had to do is ask our partner to change? Chances are you have already tried that approach – once, twice, ten, a hundred times or more. So you already know the simple fact that people do not change for the better because we complain against them or ask them to. Even when they accept that we are right and agree to act accordingly, the result is almost always to make things worse than before. However sincerely we accept our defects, something in us is always offended by being blamed or corrected, leading to a conscious or subconscious reaction that makes things worse. Even in instances where your partner changes for the better as the result of your advice, you can observe that either they acquire another behavior that is equally disturbing or they become more critical of you than before. Either way, the level of harmony goes down, rather than up. The only exception is when the person who offers the advice does so without even a tiny trace of egoistic assertion or superiority, which is extremely difficult to do.
Prioritize clarity and communication
Clarity goes beyond honesty because it is trying to achieve the goal of understanding. Language is often misunderstood and a large part of what you try to convey is actually expressed in your body language more than anything else.
Harmony and peace come from understanding, and that doesn’t mean agreeing. It is about simply seeing and accepting where others are coming from. When clarity is the cornerstone of communication, you can truly grow together without fear of misinterpretation of your words.
Intuitively, you know whether something has gone wrong or misunderstood and these are often instances where drama seems to emerge from nothing. Before that happens, deal with your emotions and do your best to create energetic clarity of your intentions.
Give of yourself
When a good relationship has been tough for a while and you find your needs are not being met, try shifting your focus away from yourself. Remind yourself of the things you love about your partner, and consider ways you can support and give yourself without expecting anything in return.
It won’t happen overnight, but the energy of a relationship can improve as one behaves differently and you can renew your sense of connection.
The submissive attitude of partner
Neither of the partners should have a dominating attitude rather there should be mutual understanding and adjustment between husband and wife. Marriage becomes a grand success, if there is mutual respect, love, and understanding there will be continuous need of the spirit of giving and take and understanding and compromise at every step. Thinking that they are one in mind and heart, one should not resent the other and should not develop a superiority inferiority complex.
Don’t try to impose your will
Ninety percent of relationship problems can be traced back to the fact that one or the other or both partners want to dominate the other, control the relationship, prove they know more, can do things better, have earned the right to lead, or are justified in making demands on their partner that they are unwilling to meet themselves. Romance cannot be attained by demanding more of the other person. If you are one who employs that approach, the first thing to do is stop. Harmony can never be achieved by trying to dominate the other person. If you are on the receiving end of a dominating partnership, the best response is to completely give up the corresponding urge in yourself. Eradicate any sense of resentment or reaction you feel in complying with your partner’s wishes by applying the first three strategies in this list. Submitting to a dominant partner out of weakness or acquiescence will never bring fulfillment. But submitting to someone you love out of patience, understanding, self-discipline, and self-giving has the power to radically change your partner’s behavior and completely reverse your roles in the relationship so that your partner comes to place your needs and wishes above his or her own.
